We did a big thing yesterday. We went to a wedding and put ourselves out there and had to do things like mingle, and smile at old acquaintances, and generally act like as normal a couple as possible.
This wedding wasn't about us. It was about sharing in the happiness of great, kind, beautiful friends who are now husband and wife.
Beforehand, I was apprehensive in a big way.
I knew people would be looking at us, The Couple Whose Baby Died, and thinking.... oh dear. Poor them. What should I do?
The majority did nothing. Just the usual, 'Hi, how are you', as if everything is totally normal.
Others, managed to avoid our eye contact altogether. It's easier that way, they probably thought. And in a sense, they were right, because there are only so many times I can keep my tears from seeping out and making everyone feel bad.
Some, some were courageous and kind and came and said hello. And talked about Bear. And listened to us. And took time out of their own happiness and dancing time, to show their respects. These friends, some of whom I don't know all that well, others who I have not seen for many years, made it all ok.
They were brave.
We know it is hard. Coming to talk to us, mentioning our baby who died. But Bear's death hasn't made us scary.
Those who made us feel normal and dignified our struggles, will now always have a special place in our hearts.