Confusion

As everyone knows, there are several stages of grief.
First comes shock.
Here you are as near to emotionless as at any time. This is what allows you to get through all the big news, the tough decisions, the first few weeks of, 'hang on, this wasn't meant to happen.'
Second comes sadness.
It does not require an explanation. Plain and simple, you cry and cry and love and wonder, why?
Now we are in confusion.
The sadness is still there. Alongside it, curiosity has caught up. Old thoughts fill your mind. Usual stuff. And you are spinning all the plates and working out where to turn next.
We are standing at a crossroads. We know we are moving forward. And yet this is almost the most difficult time to handle. There is no clarity of thought or pure tears. We are torn, we are still grieving, do people understand?
Thank goodness, then for our ski holiday next week. Time on our own. Time to sleep. Time to not worry about what others think or expect. Hopefully, there will be sun too and that will help our healing.